Is it gay to like men

Short answer: Yes. Many men identify as straight but still experience romantic or sexual attractions to other men. For years, study 1 after study has found this to be the case. Interestingly enough, the number of people who report having experienced same-sex behavior or attractions is way higher than the number of people who actually identify as gay or bisexual.

Sexuality is complicated, and labels can't possibly encompass all of the intricacies of individual human desire. Attraction is complex and surprisingly fluid, even for straight folks. Sometimes straight men develop feelings for other men out of sheer curiosity. If you've never been with a man before, you might be drawn to the novelty of the idea, especially when you're young 2.

Straight men may be interested in seemingly taboo sexual experiences, such as anal penetration or BDSMwhich they may feel safer exploring 3 with a gay or bisexual man than a woman. Same-sex desire can also be born out of situational convenience. For example, men in prison may have sex with other men to relieve sexual urges when women aren't available.

Some men who have sex with men say that they do so to reaffirm their gender identitymasculinity, and even heterosexuality, as in the case of the "bud-sex" phenomenon. Having feelings for a man doesn't automatically mean you're gay, despite what many people think. But does that mean only ever liking women?

Not necessarily. This fluidity goes both ways, he adds. There isn't a universal definition for any sexuality.

From the Experts

Identities like "straight" and "gay" may seem concrete and permanent, but in fact, research shows 4 they're subjective and can change over time. Moreover, there are lots of other categories to choose from—there's a whole spectrum of sexuality between the extreme opposites of gay and straight.

Here are some of the most common ones. The Kinsey scale was developed by Alfred Kinsey in to measure human sexuality. The scale shows that sexual orientation is far from black and white; instead, it shows sexual orientation as existing across a spectrum. The Kinsey scale isn't perfectbut it can be empowering to think about where your sexuality falls along this spectrum and how it may have changed over time rather than leaping straight to "straight," "bi," or "gay.

Many online quizzes exist to help you figure out where you fall on the Kinsey scale. No online test is officially endorsed by the Kinsey Institute, though, and you can identify with whatever number feels comfortable to you. There are some alternative labels for men who have feelings for other men but don't identify as gay.

One possibility is " mostly straight " or "heteroflexible," meaning that you're usually attracted to women but occasionally experience feelings or desires for men. Being heteroflexible is more common than often assumed; Williams cites evidence that more young men identify as "mostly straight" than either bisexual or gay combined.

Mostly straight is a discrete category, distinct from being a closeted gay man or bisexual. There's a common assumption that bisexuality isn't real; it's just a stop on the way to gayness. But nothing could be further from the truth, and that line of thinking can be quite damaging to all bisexual people and particularly to bisexual men.