Walked in gay

Have you ever read The Caucasian Chalk Circle? A leaden, joyless, ferociously unsubtle play about communism that I was forced to read when I was But it was a part of my drama class, and I enjoyed acting, so I tried to get on board with it. I read it in advance.

And, as the class started, I asked the teacher if I could play one of the farmers in it. There was a pause. I could see an idea forming in her mind. She gathered the entire class into a circle, with me and her at its centre. And she demonstrated to the room why I could never play a farmer.

Next, she did my walk.

How Do I Help My Gay Friend?

Pelvis out, shoulders back, hips swishing from side to side. I believe she even threw in a limp wrist for good measure. We all knew she meant: I have a gay walk. Walked in gay from the glaring question that this story raises — how do gay farmers walk? It was like when someone points out a noise and that noise becomes the only thing you can hear.

I spent the rest of my teenage years newly aware of a humming in the background. People are staring at you. I thought it would stop me from getting bullied. Most of the gay men I know can recall when they were first made aware of walking differently — by parents, siblings, friends or even strangers in the street.

Richard Rawles, a London-based artist, remembers his sister commenting on the way he walked as a teenager, joking at how he wiggled. On the one hand, it all feels wearingly reductive. Not all gay men are effeminate. The results have all the nuance of an episode of Sex and the City.

It wasso obviously no one bothered looking at bisexual or trans people. But it suggested that there is a connection between being gay and walking walked in gay. Gay boys are growing up watching pop stars, instead of watching footballers spitting on each other.

Is it that simple? Did overexposure to Britney make me a mincer? I had few male friends until I came out and started shagging them. Ola Awosika, a regular on the east London gay scene, agrees. It takes courage to take space, and not to adhere to what society wants you to be. Long strides, graceful and focused.

It makes me feel stronger. I never quite managed to get back to walking how I did when I was younger. And now, my friends make fun of me for it.